When a friend or loved one is struggling, it’s natural to want to help – but it can also feel overwhelming if you’re unsure of what to say or do. You don’t need to have all the answers. Sometimes, just showing up, listening without judgment and reminding them that they’re not alone can make all the difference.
If you’ve noticed a friend withdrawing, seeming down or acting differently, don’t ignore it. Reaching out – even in small ways – can open the door for them to talk and get the support they need. Here’s how you can be there for them.
Starting the Conversation
Taking the first step can feel intimidating, but a simple check-in can show your friend that you care. If you’re not sure where to start, try one of these approaches:
? Invite them to hang out or catch up
A casual, low-pressure invitation can help your friend feel seen and valued. Keep it light and open-ended: “Hey! It’s been a while, and I miss you. How’ve you been? Want to catch up soon?”
? Express concern from a place of support
If you’ve noticed changes in their behavior, gently acknowledge it without making assumptions:
“I’ve noticed you’ve seemed a little down lately. Are you doing okay?”
? Be patient and give them space to open up
Your friend might not be ready to talk right away, and that’s okay. Reassure them that they don’t have to rush: “It’s okay if you’re not ready to talk. Just know that I’m here whenever you need to.”
? Remind them they’re not alone
A simple statement can go a long way in making someone feel supported: “I’m always here for you. You don’t have to go through this alone.”
What to Do If They Open Up
If your friend starts to share, listen with an open heart. You don’t need to solve their problems – just being present is powerful. Here are a few key ways to offer meaningful support:
✔️ Listen without judgment – Let them speak freely without trying to “fix” things or minimize their feelings. Saying “That sounds really tough. I’m here for you” can be more helpful than offering advice right away.
✔️ Validate their feelings – Instead of saying “It’s not that bad” or “You’ll be fine,” try: “I can see why that’s really difficult. That makes sense.” Feeling understood can make a huge difference.
✔️ Ask how you can help – Everyone needs support in different ways. Try asking: “What would be most helpful for you right now?” They might just need to vent, or they may want help finding resources.
✔️ Check in regularly – Support isn’t just a one-time thing. Follow up with a quick text or invite them to do something together. Showing up consistently helps them feel valued and less isolated.
Supporting a struggling friend doesn’t mean you have to have the perfect words or solutions. Sometimes, the most meaningful thing you can do is simply show up, listen and remind them that they don’t have to go through this alone. And don’t be afraid to include a trusted adult or reach out for help as you walk alongside a friend. If you or someone you know needs immediate help, call or text 988 for free, confidential support anytime. You’re never alone.